To my friends and anyone else to whom it may concern

It has been a month since I came back from London and today I decided to write a post in English so, if they want to, my friends that don’t know Portuguese can read it as well.

The fact that I’m writing this precisely one month after my return is not on purpose, it’s just a coincidence. There is no hidden meaning in this post, just to be clear.

It’s not easy to be back. It’s not easy to deal with all the feelings that I have inside. It’s not easy to fake a smile. It’s not easy!

I haven’t talked a lot about how I feel with this situation because it’s not easy and I don’t feel very comfortable. I also have the feeling that people are not that interested in listening to it.

Sometimes it’s better to keep things to myself anyway.  

I left London and some friends there. I wanted to do so much more, to see a lot more stuff, to live more. I didn’t do it for many reasons but, looking on the bright side, there is a lot to do if and when I come back!

The people that I’ve met in London and that I consider to be my friends will always have a special place in my heart even if the feeling is not mutual (in some cases probably it isn’t). I really miss them. It breaks my heart that I can’t knock on their doors and talk to them or text them and meet somewhere in London.  They can’t imagine how I need them right now...
I don’t verbalize it a lot but I really miss you!

I won’t list names because it could be unfair to someone and I don’t have the right to expose anyone’s name. Just be sure that I care about you.

I hope we can all meet again one day in London!

This one year period in London was very special. One of the best years of my life and a very cool story to tell my niece when she grows up.  I just hope she can be proud of me somehow and that she succeeds in everything I failed.

There have been some days that I think that this London adventure was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever done but, as I once said to someone about other event, if it was a mistake it was one of the best mistakes I’ve ever done and I would do it all over again!

I returned to Portugal, to my family and friends. As I referred above, it hasn’t been easy. I’m re-adjusting, returning to old habits and places.  

My life is in standby while I’m struggling to keep my shit together and put it again on track.

I try every day, I still have hope, and I need to keep believing it is possible to have a better life.

I’m looking for the next adventure, for the next chapter for this blog.